I Never
by Deranged Goddess of Insanity
Summary: This is an I Never fic. It contains slash and humor.
1. it begins

a/n: Oh, look, I wrote another fic. Go me.  
  
dedicated: This is dedicated to bat-boy (batwings slash) and Ty. They had to put up with me and my weird ideas and me bugging about ideas for this fic.  
  
warnings: slash and my sense of humor.  
  
disclaimer: I do not own any songs, lyrics, titles or characters featured in this fic.  
  
oh, any and all ideas for this would be appreciated  
  
~nell  
  
~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Harry looked around the small room he had found in Hogwarts the other day. Everything was just about ready for the party tonight, well, except for sending out the inviting the other people to his party. He had strawberry Daiquiris, butterbeer, beer, and white wine Sprinter for later on during the party with non-alcoholic butterbeer and pretzels and cookies and other snacks available until then.  
  
With a sudden smile, Harry cast the charms that caused a large pile of invitations to appear on the table. This was going to be the best party ever, and there wasn't going to be any one below sixth year there, just so they wouldn't have tone the party down.  
  
With a flick of his wand, all the invitations disappeared to their intended destinations.  
  
Harry turned the cd that was modified to run on magic on, and grinned when the music started to play. It was loud and bouncy and a favorite song of his.  
  
He loved Bon Jovi's music, especially It's my Life.  
  
Harry was singing along to the song as he felt the tremors in the charm that alerted him to someone approaching the room. He checked and went to the door to let the Fred and George in, still singing along to the lyrics.  
  
~*~*~*  
  
It's my life  
  
And it's now or never  
  
'Cause I ain't gonna live forever  
  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
  
(It's my life)  
  
My heart is like an open highway  
  
Like Frankie said I did it my way  
  
I just want to live while I'm alive  
  
'Cause it's my life! ~*~*~*~*  
  
Fred laughed and looked around the large room before stepping aside to let in Ginny, Hermione, Ron, Dean and several other Gryffindors.  
  
They went over to the table and were chatting aimlessly about quidditch since it was obvious that Harry was still waiting for some other people to show up.  
  
Harry, who had been talking to Hermione about his latest offer to join England's team, looked up and went to open the door again. This time it was a large group, and just about everyone who hadn't already appeared that he had sent an invitation to.  
  
He greeted Remus and Sirius with a quick hug, shook hands with Severus and said hello to Draco. Bill and Charlie went over to the twins, and Oliver and Percy were arguing over some odd piece of Quidditch trivia.  
  
Ginny looked up with a faint frown on her face, "This song is starting to bug me, can we please listen to something else?"  
  
Harry laughed and waved his wand at the cd player, which started to play Spinning Around" by Kylie Minogue.  
  
After several hours, many of the people who had come to the party had left. It was just Harry, Oliver, Percy, Ginny, Draco, Severus, the twins, Bill, Charlie, Remus and Sirius.  
  
Harry had switched the cd to Can't Fight the Moonlight and had caused Remus to start laughing at how Sirius was changing the lyrics.  
  
Ginny laughed and started to sing along to a couple of the changed lyrics before suddenly jumping onto a table. "I know everyone who was supposed to be here is here, so can we please get to the good part? I know all that alcohol is not just for snacks."  
  
Harry looked around the room and saw that everyone else was nodding in agreement to what Ginny had said. "Well, than I guess we should get down to why I really set up this party. I decided we needed to have a nice, relaxing party and the best way to do that would be to play some games." He paused to catch his breath before continuing. "We will be playing I Never, with alcoholic and non-alcoholic drinks available. The rules are simple. One person will say something that they have never did. Everyone that had done so will take a sip from their cup. Well, a sip or however much they want to drink. The person or people that drink will have to how what they had done or how they had done the I Never."  
  
Harry paused again. "To be fair, since it was my idea, I get to go first. Everyone get a drink and find a chair in the circle," he said as with a wave of his wand he conjured up enough chairs for all. He watched with amusement as the others found seats and each took an alcoholic drink.  
  
Harry picked up a butterbeer and sat in the last available chair, in between Oliver and Draco.  
  
Watching everyone in the group, Harry said the first thing he had never done that came to his mind."I never tap-danced naked on a table."  
  
Harry watched with amusement as Ron blushed and drank some of his beer while Remus and Sirius and the Twins drank proudly from their butterbeer.  
  
Remus smiled and told his tale first. "It was the end of seventh year and Sirius, James and I were more than a tad tipsy. Well, James and Sirius are a bit suggestible when they get drunk, and Severus came upon us weaving around in the Great Hall. He suggested that we dance on a table, and Sirius decided it'll be fun to do it naked. He somehow talked me into it, and Severus took pictures and blackmailed us for the rest of the school year."  
  
Sirius interrupted, "But we got our revenge. Severus had to show up on our last day of Hogwarts, wearing red and gold with his hair dyed purple. We have pictures somewhere..." his voice trailed off as he remembered that day.  
  
Harry looked over at the Twins. "Oliver dared us to. Said we wouldn't have the guts to do it." The two grinned. "We shocked professor McGonagall."  
  
Ron was the last to speak. "Hermione, Harry and I were at harry's flat. I was just a little bit drunk and Harry said something about tap dancing on tables, so we were both up there. Harry fell off the table..."  
  
Harry interrupted, "Because you pushed me!"  
  
Ron glared at Harry before continuing, "And got mad at me and threw a hex at me. It shredded my clothes off."  
  
The others laughed at each of the stories before Oliver started. "I never..." 


	2. it goes on

A/n: This is only a little bit late. Really. Why do I get the feeling you people don't think it's only a little late?

Warnings: It is slashy… well, will be slashy.

Disclaimer: see this white jacket that makes me hug myself? That means I'm not all that sane. Only a sane person would own Harry Potter because only a sane person would think to make tons of money off of it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Oliver grinned to himself as he tried to think of something he had never done. So many things he had done, so many things he wouldn't want anyone besides Percy to know.

"Ah, I know. I never was caught snogging in the girls bathroom by Professor Snape."

Oliver watched as Harry, Ginny, and the twins quickly drank from their respective drinks. "Well, explain," he said somewhat impatiently.

Harry sighed and decided to go first, blushing all the while. "I was in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom, with Seamus, when something disturbed her. She flew out crying and Snape decided to investigate. I was only half-dressed, and it was so embarrassing."

Snape sniffed when he heard that. "Embarrassing for you? I do not appreciate walking in on my students, in a public area, in an indecent embrace with another."

Oliver stepped in before things could get out of hand. "Ginny, what happened with you?"

Ginny blushed before answering. "I wanted a private place to practice kissing, and Seamus, who Harry volunteered to teach me because he knew that Seamus wouldn't do anything bad, said he knew the perfect place. It was Moaning Myrtle's bathroom."

Snape glared at Ginny. "I don't know what it is with all you Gryffindor's, but I always seem to catch you snogging in her bathroom."

The twins suddenly chimed in. "Not all us Gryffindor's. We were in the bathroom by the Great Hall when you caught us."

One of the twins continued. "Though it was a bit embarrassing considering we were trying to teach Lee Jordan how to snog properly."

Remus smirked when he noticed that it was now his turn. "Let me think, let me think. Say Padfoot, what do you think I should say?" Remus watched as the twins' eyes lit up upon the word Padfoot.

Sirius looked at Remus with ill-concealed apprehension. "I'm not sure Moony, just don't make Harry blush."

Harry looked indignant as he started to speak before Remus interrupted. "I never showered wearing a snorkel mask, flippers, and an inner tube shaped like a duck before."

Harry started laughing as he heard this, laughing even harder as he saw Sirius and Bill both drink from their respective butterbeers.

"Do we even want to know?" he asked, still laughing.

Sirius mumbled something to himself, causing Remus to lean over. 

"I don't think they heard you Paddy."

"It was James fault. I was eight, and I had been invited along with James to his cousins' house. They were half-muggle. I had never even seen a shower before. James told me that the shower would get angry if I didn't wear it, he said it'd be worse then a wizarding mirror."

Snape smirked, "How gullible of you mutt. You actually believed him?"

Sirius growled. "I _was_ only _eight. _It wasn't as if I knew any better."

Remus looked over at Bill. "What about you?"

Bill just smiled. "Dad brought the stuff home from work, and said that muggles wore them when they were in the water. So I decided to wear them in the water, and since I was outside, at a friend's house at the time, I used the outdoor shower at his house.

Sirius was practically bouncing in his seat. "It's my turn now. I wonder what I should pick, considering all the things I've seen and done, there aren't many that I haven't done."

~~~~~~~~~~

Reviewers:

QueenStrata: It's short because… I'm lazy? Bon Jovi is good. *Nods* I'll be embarrassing Draco next chapter.

Rowenna: Yes, it will be H/D. Just not quite there yet.

C-Chan2 a.k.a. Neptunesdemon: I like cliffhangers. You should see some of the other things I've written. I've left Harry about to be killed, etc…

ambookworm247: I am continuing this, I'm just a bit slow about typing things up.


End file.
